Excuses and a Pseudo Summer Romance
July 3, 2009
Well, staying at my cabin was sort of fun I guess. I love the property but it frustrates me that the only reason my dad took us up there was to CLEAN!!! I mean we aren’t his slaves so he should stop treating us like that. Anyways, we also visited his parent’s cabin in Wisconsin on the way back and celebrated father’s day and my grandpa’s birthday. My dad and grandparents always fight with each other though, so that was a little exhausting/tedious…
Anyways, as you guys know I don’t have internet or cell phone service up at my cabin so I was really looking forward to getting back home like a week ago. However, I get home and guess what??? For some reason we don’t have internet here either because my mother forgot to pay the bill and she was ‘always busy and never had time’ so she finally got around to paying the bill yesterday. Oh well, I wasn’t bored at all because our friend’s from Colorado are in town. One of them is one of my best friends, Matt, we have a ton in common and talk over facebook all the time and we’re also the same age. He came with his parents, Leslie and Joel, and his older brother who is now 18 (Sean) and his little sister who is going into 8th grade (Laura). His dad and my dad have been best friends since they were in the same fraternity in college and now they are like our best family friends.
So, well besides being best friends with Matt we have liked each other on and off for the past like four years and last year we went out and ended up breaking up because we both made mistakes and the distance made it so hard… Anyways, we broke up like a year/11 months ago and well we haven’t totally gotten over each other (it’s worse on my part though). In December, when we went skiing with them in Colorado, we still liked each other and both knew it but he said he would ‘go out with me in a second if you lived here’ and I believed him because we have never really lied to each other. So since then we haven’t really talked about our relationship…until now. The first night we saw eachother we started massaging each others’ shoulders and then backs and then we ended up cuddling and making out. I stopped right away because he has never said anything to me to make me believe that he wants to be my boyfriend again and even though I really like him I have to protect myself. So we agree to be ‘just friends’ and then a couple days later it happens again and he says he’s cool with kissing but doesn’t want to be my boyfriend. I agreed because the distance is hard and we shouldn’t waste the little time we have together. At first I was cool with it, but then he told me that ‘if anyone leaves next week it will be him’ and if he wants that then it kind of defeats the purpose of why I was ok with a sort of pseudo relationship. Now I’m not so sure. I just like him so much and I get jealous so easily. Luckily this year I haven’t had any reason to be jealous because even though he’s liked other girls he hasn’t dated any. But I can’t expect that to happen forever and I know I’m going to have trouble coming to terms if I accept it. He’s such a cool guy and I’ve known him forever and liked him for so long. So, what would you guys do if you were in my situation?? I have no idea what to do or think… At least I have a couple days to think about it before I see him again.
Cabin
June 18, 2009
My dad owns a cabin on lake Superior. Soooo, long story short, I’m going up there this weekend. There is no cell phone service, internet, or TV so I’ll probably just read some books I’ve been wanting to read for a while. I will have my laptop, so I MIGHT get around to making some updates.
Happy Father’s Day everyone!!! And hopefully your summer has been warmer than mine so far… It’s been raining this whole week.
EDIT on Monday June 22////// Uggh our stay at our cabin has been extended until either thursday or friday because the weather has just been ’sooo nice’ right now I’m at a little coffee shop and I’ll try to get online before then and answer comments but I’m not sure I’ll be able too…